Goal Setting; Am I too old to start my dream?

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One recurring theme I have noticed among many of my clients is the fear that they are off track, behind the curve, or that they missed an opportunity and that it is now “too late” for them to achieve their goals. It is understandable where these fears come from. We live in a society where children are being taught to only go after things they are “good” at, and that they need to have their life plan figured out by the time they are sixteen at most. This creates so much stress and weight on the shoulders of people who are simply trying to figure out how to be a human. Of course, this leads to the youth of our world feeling as though they are already behind. How can we start shifting this narrative?

Patience, acceptance, compassion, and truth can help us in goal setting. Our world is full of influencers who make life look so easy, but it is easy to forget that the camera is not a mirror, it only shows us what that influencer wants us to see. We also need to understand that most people who have become “successful” did not get there by the time they were 25, or even 35, sometimes those people did not become a success until well into their 40s or even later. You are not behind; you are still finding your path.

We no longer live in a world where we choose one career and stay in that career for our entire working life.  It is okay to change careers, and even the field we are interested in, at any age.  

Let’s say someone has a goal to become a world-renowned therapist helping adult women manage addiction in a fast-paced world. It is almost impossible for that goal to come to fruition right out of graduate school. For starters most states require 3000 hours of client care before you can practice unsupervised. It usually takes at least that much time to figure out what specialty you connect most with. Then once you have decided on a specialty, there is more than likely added training and more education to gain, sometimes even additional licensure. So, back to the example, let’s say you finished grad school at 25; found a job and a supervisor, and completed your hours to be independent in two years (this would be fast). Hopefully you will see the picture here. Even when knowing what you want to do, and completing things “on-time”, the idea that we will reach our ultimate goal by our mid to late 20’s just doesn’t make sense.  No one has a quick journey to the success they want. And success looks different for each person.

With a quick google search you can find scores of successful people who did not get their break until well into their 30’s or even later. If we are using money as the indicator of success (which isn’t the mark for all people), only 1.4% of households with a net worth of $1,000,000 are under 30 years old. This statistic does not account for money earned, vs money inherited. Either way, the point is just because you have not hit your “successful stride”, whatever that may be, by the time you are some assigned age, does not mean it is too late. You get to decide every day what you are going to work towards. Maybe you want to start a farm, but you live in an apartment in a city, and you don’t know how to grow things. Planting things in pots on your balcony is a start, and it is on the path. That path will change so many times throughout your life. The more important thing is that you believe in yourself, and that you pivot when life presents another barrier. And it will, over and over again. Perseverance is a more important quality than getting something on the first try. Everything we do, everything we work on, and everything we achieve is built on a foundation that was formed through all the false starts, and missteps that have colored our path.

Just because you cannot see the end, does not mean you aren’t moving forward. You’ve got this!